Day 1: What do a 16-year old girl, The Color Purple, and Walking in my Shoes have in common?
First up in the 30-day Depeche Mode challenge, my all-time favorite Depeche Mode song: “Walking in my Shoes”
I’m not sure when I first heard this song, but my earliest memories of it are associated with the late summer of 1999. The Singles 86–98 was my first Depeche Mode “album” and was what really was my gateway drug (in addition to a smattering of Speak and Spell tracks and Violator B-sides; oh, Napster..).
I listened to disk two so much, it got some pretty gnarly scuffs and scratches. I still still recall memories of hot summer days on my dad’s property in the country, passing time with my discman and my sketchbook, as he worked on building his dream house. I also remember listening to WIMS while reading The Color Purple for advanced summer study around the same time. For some reason I still think of the book occassionally when I hear this song (but not the others on that same CD). I had to do artwork for a poster report, and I remember how much the song resonated with the story and my emotion at the time.
Though I have some memories associated with my high school years and early fandom, what really galvanized this song as my favorite is not only the whimsical, cathartic strains, but the lyrics. Time and time again, I have found judgement by others (or fear of) to be the crux of personal suffering. Because I didn’t hide who I was, I grew up an odd-ball, with a proportionate amount of teasing as a child, and unfounded judging as an adult. As such, I built up anxiety about being misunderstood. About my intentions, however innocent, being misconstrued. It’s happened quite a few times. For me, this song is like an defiant affirmation – as if I were standing up shouting at the world, “Hey, you don’t know me, so how can you judge me?” I’ve never led a life of decadence or temptation, as the song more specifically alludes to. However the music cuts through me like a hot knife through butter, and the lyrics hit home in my own way. After at least 13 years, this song has never gotten old.
